He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
