So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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