roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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