he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
