I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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