he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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