I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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