I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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