I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
