This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
