I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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