I didn't shave. On purpose
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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