does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
