I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
