You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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