I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i need an iv and a liver transplant
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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