Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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