I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
