There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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