i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
