Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
