I should be sponsored by Trojan
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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