If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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