I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
