Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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