Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
