So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
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