you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
