I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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