carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
