is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
