I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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