You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
