Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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