I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
