Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
