hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
