is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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