Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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