Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
