At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
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