well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
