I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
