you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He did a backflip because drugs
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
