I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
This house was built for laser tag.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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