i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
