just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
