Will you blow on my dice?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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