it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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