fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
