He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
