i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
