Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I deserve this hangover.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
