Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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