DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
