Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just want to make out with him forever
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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