I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
