Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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