she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
