it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
