it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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